"Single life is the good life until you meet someone who shows you the better life."

For the moment, I can believe

everything's gonna be alright.

Tainted love

Some people love tarnished silver.
They find it gives character; a uniqueness that is only possible through time.

Some people hate it. They consider it a form of aging; of perpetual decay. It is when stark perfection comes to a halt and we realize--nothing remains perfect forever.

I, for one, adore tarnished silver. Oxidization is a friend of mine.

Je pense/a l'avenir

Still waiting on that call. If this is a strategy to make me want this job more than I actually do, then damn girl. She is a dentist and her own boss for a reason.

I'm deliriously happy that I'm at home at three in the afternoon, with half the day ahead of me to study alone. Solitude is my means of rejuvenation.

I am not a fan of those who feel they have the right to make certain claims about my life. Remember where you stand in my life; as a friend, not my mother.

I'm really disappointed in my performance at school. I am further discouraged by my peers' attitudes. Competition and jealousy brings out the ugliest in humanity. I cannot stress how not impressed I am with how some people carry themselves in the equally revealing occasions of triumph and defeat. You think you know some people.

I could go on forever about school. I miss my friends. They carpool everyday together; those simple everyday encounters are so important these days.

On the other hand, I feel as though if I got into UBC, I'd be doing it to prove something. And that's not how I want to live my life; doing things to please others. I want to make myself happy on my own terms. I have yet to apply. My average is a B/B+ as of right now (or so I think). I have no idea whether this is worthy of the prestigious (and elitist) character that is the University of British Columbia and all of its followers. I have been increasingly reluctant towards the entire process of applying. My only sense of gratification would be found in the approval of others; the seamless nod that I am fitting into society's conception of the status quo. It makes me sick. It makes me even sicker watching friends and strangers do the things they were told to do, only to find themselves in a perpetual search for a potential passion in the collegiate curriculum.

The anticipation to be free from academic responsibility and into the world of luscious grass and sunshine is killing me. I am stoked on swimming again. I'm not gonna lie; those one week crash courses were brutal but so fulfilling at the same time.

I also can't wait to get out of the city. I made the (this is going to come out nothing but bitchy) mistake of asking too many people to join me in my little withdrawal from the real world. It has landed me in a position where my plans now revolve around them; the selfish aspect of my retreat is gone. Excess enthusiasm has generated so much unnecessary resentment. Trust me, I smh at myself for being such a self-centered bitch about it and creating my own problems at the same time.

I'm taking Math 12 again. AND I'M GOING TO MAKE IT MY BITCH. Some people think it's a sucky situation, but I feel like math is important; I should really put my time and effort into it. Despite everything we did in highschool to avoid it, math is important. And most of all, math is a contributing factor to my future. No PR consultant is going to get out of learning how to do stats..

Lastly, I want to read. The luxury of time is at my hands this summer, and I will honour it by reading.

That is all.    

Too blessed to be stressed

butterflies. sweet kisses. deep kisses. Asian kisses. tummy rubs. neck nuzzles. face nuzzling. biting, lots of biting. swoon (the scarlett ohara kind). lift me off my feet--literally. piggy backs that lead to near choking. laughter. smile. kiss. shake hands. hold hands. hold both hands. hug. squeeze (attempt to suffocate). tickle. laugh. laugh. laugh. wrestle. fight. yell. hurt. dislike. the simple act of giving a shit... no more yelling. long talks. sleepless nights [on the phone]. the world is finally at peace.. rise and grind.  smile. sunshine (even when it's not sunny). blessed. rejoice. happy.  rinse, repeat.

Like the sun, won't you stay..

All kinds of beautiful that end my day.

Period Talk

As a small attempt in hoping my period comes sooner, I have switched into my Blackberry case and will start eating copious amounts of ice cream. I need my period to arrive already, because I'm in need of reassurance in my most recent emotionally-driven antics.

Y'all know you're officially cray cray when you start admitting to your antics..

My boyfriend is taking a lot of the heat. He's annoyingly accepting of this entire process; he went as far as to say, "Baby.. Are you on your period? I know around the second week of the month is when your cycle starts."

Bitch, please. I am not on my period.

Yet.

I want me some fucking ice cream!!!!!!!

(Land of Meh)

If you don't like where you are, then
change it.

You are not a tree.

In my monthly funk. Sometimes I call the Land of Meh. This place sucks balls. Often enough, I've landed here for no particular reason. I have no real reason to be sad. I'm just sad because not everything's perfect, and that's no way to be happy.

Think about it.

If you're only happy when everything is going the right way, how are you going to live your life?

I refuse to drown in self-pity. That shit has never worked for me..

If y'all ever get into one of these funks, if y'all ever feel unappreciated by those around you, if y'all wake up and feel unpretty, if y'all are just having a really bad day..

STOP BEING SAD.

And remember that you are awesome.

That should do it.

I was a walking ghost

I have always  been skeptical when it comes to sleep. Mostly because I think I'm hardcore enough to run on 4 hours of sleep, to go to work wearing the same makeup from last night (and still reeking of tequila), to simply cover up my drowsiness with a shot of espresso, to pull all-nighters and go on with my day..

That shit is cray cray. Who did I think I was? Sleep is my new everything. Without sleep, I can't function. Without sleep, even coffee becomes obsolete. 

I'm blogging about something as simple as sleep, why? I'm going to refer to this as a constant reminder to take care of myself.

I think my generation takes their health for granted. When I used to blog till 4AM and sleep when the sun came up, my mum would berate my bad habits like nobody's business. I don't blame her. She used to threaten to take me to the children's hospital and show me what people who wanted to live were like.  

I plan to do so, despite my newly-applied sleeping habits.

SLEEP IS THE NEW AWAKE.

Hipsters

Will dropkick the next person that calls me a hipster.

I'm not a hipster. I repeat, NOT A HIPSTER.

I'd rather slit my wrists than walk around being a self-proclaimed hipster..

Just because I walk around half-bald and with a self-righteous attitude, does NOT mean that I am a hipster.

I'LL KILL YOU.