Committed to my blog

Recap of the past month, as I've started many entries but haven't had the heart to complete and publish them.

• Soph's really growing on me, despite the middle-of-the-night "emergencies" and all the throwing up... (which I am mostly at fault). My cousin's dropping her off tomorrow afternoon before she flies back to L.A. She's made some friends: Nemo, BB (her boyfriend), Dubbie and hopefully soon Ricky and Sasa :)!!


• Went boarding today and went down the mountain on my ass. I was sooo out of it. Slept for less than 5 hours [because W kept calling me and waking me up at different intervals "Turn on the tap right now if you're actually awake. I want to hear running water."] The secret to snowboarding is bending your knees, and I was being such a lazy fuck, I kept dozing off and catching edges all the way down Cypress' icy ass slopes. I'm never boarding in such HARD snow conditions. I've got bruises all over my bum and knees to support me..


• Happy 19th Birthday, Neeks! First year he's been able to admit it's actually his birthday.


• The one night I saw DK, we got lost on a highway to Delta when I was trying to tell her a story. It was hella scary because she was out of gas, my phone was dead and her phone was long distance and uncooperative and the highway to Delta only has ONE exit..


• I haven't worked in 2 weeks.. whatevs..


• My cousin is an effin' psycho. She came back from L.A. a few days ago and she's been feeding my dysfunctional sleeping pattern (hence the reason why I'm still up at this hour, preparing to take a shower). I totally forgot that we're having lunch tomorrow before her flight.. Guess I'm not going shopping/having dimsum..


• Sab's puppy is just about the cutest baby ever!!!! Her name's Dubbie and her breed comes from Beijing and is a descendent of a pug/bulldog.. at least that's what we've assessed. She cries all the time, especially when she runs up the stairs and realizes that she doesn't know how to get down. Played with her till 4AM last night and taught her how get down one flight of stairs at Sab's house. Here's a photo op for the Cry Baby:

• Slept through my Christmas lunch with the fam this year.. That's exactly how fucked my sleeping pattern is.. However, had a really nice brunch with the fam the day before on Christmas Eve at Griffin's.
• LOVED Avatar. I'm going to go watch it again. I have to admit it was better than New Moon.. way better..
• My baby brother got me LFD2 for Christmas. Isn't he so sweet?
• You never cease to make me laugh when I'm beyond furious or in between sobs. Love you longtime <3
  
  More later.

Killuminati up this bitch..

There are too many people who think the only right thing is to get by, and the only wrong thing is to get caught.

There's nobody you can trust these days..

Flagships

Maybe one day you'll wake up and realize I'm gone.

I hate you

"L'amour est un genre de suicide." - Jacques Lacan (médecin, 1901-1981)

Je me sens épuisés: emotionellement, physiquement, mentalement. Les adjectifs de mal-appreciés et mal-traités viennent en tete. Est-il possible de ressentir si repoussés en face de quelqu'un vous avez aimé pour les derniers deux ans? Est-il possible qu'un seul individu peut évoqué la volonté de vomir à un mésure si incomprehensible?

Because I'm a girl..

I like it when my legs look skinny. And tan. I believe that wearing red brings confidence, and that the colour of your nails complete your outfit. Shoes are the essence of any ensemble, seeing as they hold you up in life. I like my hair best when it's long and cascading down my shoulders. Even better when it's in loose curls or beachy waves. When I was little, I loved wearing dresses because it made me feel pretty--I still do. I dance to Top 40's music and I love it. Red lipstick is for sexy bitches--the David Guetta kind. I go apeshit when my phone battery is dying. I like the way my mascara used to make marks on my boyfriend's cheeks after we'd finish kissing. I love "pulling a Laguna" as in wearing sweats tucked into Uggs, big sunnies and a vente Starbucks in hand; the way Tina and I used to roll in back on those sporadic early mornings. Beach bumming is a hobby, I mean, what's better than falling asleep under the sun? Ringing my eyes with black eyeliner doesn't make me feel beautiful, it makes me feel fierce. But when the guy I love still tells me I'm gorgeous with no makeup at all, it feels pretty damn good too. Pearls make me feel classy. Getting ready with the girls is the highlight of my night.. besides the late-night pigging out. So what if I can't run a marathon in these stilettos? At least I can stomp around and act like I'm stepping all over those people who have stepped all over me in the past. Retail therapy is real therapy. Yes, as a matter of fact I do need this giant bag because inside are the contents of my LIFE. I like smelling good.

Because I'm me, I love touching dogs and their wet noses. It sounds gross, but I love it. I could live without conditioner only if I used Sab's shampoo (smells effin' amazing). Soy, lactose-free.. any kind of milk is nasty. I can't get enough of fake eyelashes. I press snooze until it's 45 minutes after my original alarm time. I hate not washing my hair for more than one day. It drives me fucking crazy. My closet staples are tights, v-necks and Uggs. I hate watching my friends settle for less. I'm a fan of chivalry and I like it when my guy friends tell me, "That's just the way I was taught". I'm always late, don't count on me for anything. I could go for some McDonalds right now. A momma's boy is my kind of boy. I'm a snobby bitch to people I don't trust. During the summertime, I have mass cravings for BBQ and nightmarket food. I like feeling like a lady, if you know what I mean. I still think black panties are bought to be worn in front of someone... I like the way my favourite boy makes me laugh, even when I'm beyond pissed off. It really bugs me when people act like music is a religion. I don't think before I speak. Converse chucks are the only shoes that look good dirty. I love eating chicken wings with fake nails and my eyelashes on--I feel like a fucking woman. I don't get menstrual cramps. I would like to believe that my hamster knows her name is Gwendilynn and that I'm her mama, but I know I'm just fooling myself.. I can't understand how cheaters can look themselves in the mirror. I live in the moment because things always happen for a reason right? I would rather walk and recycle. Mary-Kate and Ashley, and Molly Ringwald are my movie heroines. My friends are the only people in the world who can tolerate me, I grant you that.

Because I'm me, because I'm a girl.. it's all the same. This is me and I'm a girl, and I fucking love it.

"i gave you my sincerity"

this is an honest-to-God horrible post.. so don't read it. it's just an excuse to put up a sexy picture...

i'm in so much ridiculous love with korean boys right now..this one particular korean boy. oh my god. lee min ho, why are you sooo goodlooking? isn't he GORGEOUS? please have my babies.

last night, watched boys before flowers for the first time until 4 in the morning at sab's. we went through 3 cd's which is equivalent to 6 hours of korean drama love. this doesn't include our breaks (taking soph out to pee, getting chicken wings and cheesy bread from domino's. sooo nasty. it almost put me off chicken wings for life). im pretty much in looooooooove. i just got home from watching bbf at sab's too. i really don't think you want to know what i'm doing right now... i'm watching youtube videos of bbf which includes lots of fan made videos of just how mad sexy he is.

okay.. soph's getting pretty upset and i'm going to stop before i spoil the entire series for myself. time for bed!

*mwah*

Meet Sophie. listening to the little monster snore right now..

On other news: I've been touched by the kindness of a stranger. If anyone's been keeping track of my blog, you'll know that I was all moany and complaining about how I lost my original blog. Turns out it was on wordpress.. and yeah, I did remember correctly and my bio was pretty kick-ass afterall. Yay!!!!

It's strange but I'm always counting on the kindness of strangers. I'm lucky enough to always be running into kind people who are willing to take their pity on a funny little Asian girl like me. Haha.

And I love you, there's no doubt about it!!!!

Say hello to goodbye.

Just me and my girlfriends

DK left for Toronto today. I was eating sushi with my cousin and her boyfriend when I got a last text before she boarded her plane. Pretty much teared up a bit while I eating chicken teriyaki and washing it down with some ebi sunomono...

Don't ever let anyone take you for granted.. I know you'll find someone who loves and treats you right.

Broken entourage.. :*(!!!

What kind of dream is this?

Two big things happened to me today. I'm saying bye to one of my closest friends. This girl made my mascara run. I just about bawled my eyes off as she was driving away. It's going to be strange without her sarcastic comments and bitchy sidenotes. Who's going to tell me that my haircut makes me look fat? Who's going to be the one stopping me from buying shoes that totally clash with my outfit? I'm really gonna miss my UD. The entourage is officially breaking apart.. <>

I also surprised myself today. I realised and confirmed something that's been buried deep for a very longtime. It's nice to know.

Some things are already perfect. Let's just leave it at that.

What's your deepest fear?

: my worst fear is waking up in the arms of someone and wishing they were someone else.

6AM

  The sweetest revenge is to live your life. 

I feel like puking

it's all just a bunch of lies we told ourselves to ease the pain of reality that once felt like something good and beautiful and of course the real part of it was pretty damn good too not to mention those finer moments in life those very rare glimmers of hope that make everything a little brighter a little more hopeful they kinda make it all worth it in the end maybe if we just closed our eyes and went back to all those times where things just seemed perfect maybe if we closed them a little more tighter we could relive those worthy seconds again and if only we could paint the stills of the better moments of our lives maybe our entire lives could form a gallery and the best creations would be on the top floor maybe to represent the height of our lives the highest of nirvanas reached within our nothing but human existence wouldn't that be great to keep the good from the bad and maybe even just keep all the good and recycle the bad no mixing in between no tainting the purity of it all and just like that we can keep our linens white and it'd be like living in a snow globe a perfect world untouched and captured in its own glass bubble you'd have to slam it against something really hard to get into this world of nothing-short-of-amazing wouldn't that be nice? but like i said it's all just a bunch of lies.

forget what they say.

Thoughts in the middle of the night

• I wish I hadn't ordered butter chicken from Joey's... then proceeded to get cheesecake at Cheesecake Etc. Why couldn't I just have gotten a nice salad? (BTW, the spinach salads @ Cactus Club are the best... lol, this is no advertising scheme, I assure you. Yum.. goat cheese!)
• I love my friends.
• Oh my God... I totally forgot about the black sesame 'tong yunes' I had at Alex's house. I'm defs going to fullfill those alleged 'freshman fifteen' pounds.. holla!
• There are some things that are just friggin' weird. Like what the F? Seriously, EW.
• I don't if it's because my period had just ended or something, but when Daisy tweeted me that she was back in Van, I felt like crying. I'm so happy my UD is home!
• I'm typing yet another e-mail that will go unanswered. Waste of my time.
• I am so grateful that I passed my RCM exam. I have to admit, I get away with things way too easily...
• My week is packed full: I have work 5 days this week, I have scheduled family time since Dee and my uncle are coming home from Toronto, I have to go to SFU with Jamie and Angus to get my U-Pass and buy textbooks, see UD for the one day that she's available, study for my math final AND pass it!
• I keep thinking about Jennifer Aniston's character in He's Just Not That Into You. I'm going back to the moment where she told Ben Affleck, "Stop being nice to me if you're not going to marry me." I feel the same way?
• My toes feel like they've been repeatedly crushed with a mortar. Poor little piggies.
• My last tweet was: I don't feel like working, I feel like puking.

Ugh.. blah blah blah.. I'm not in the mood to blog.

The worst kind of liar is the one that lies only sometimes

The worst kind of liar is the one that lies only sometimes.

Parmi des millions des personnes sur la terre

... je me besoin seulement un.

Fake FAKE everything!

I love fake things. I'm not gonna lie. I love my wide collection fake eyelashes (I received 15 more pairs today, because W just came back from China. A box for $5! So incredibly jeal). I love the unnatural brown tint in my hair. I like (not love, cause I mostly use them to see) those freaky Korean circle lenses. I love the fake nails I had done this afternoon (I also like gel a lot better than acrylic). I also like fake or "imitation" shark fin soup. What they do to get the real thing is sick. Authentic shark fin soup isn't even that good... it's chewy and tastes like any Chinese soup with a Chicken broth base. I also really like tofu dogs.. which counts as imitation meat, I guess. They're so good with only mustard.

The only thing I'm not into that are fake are fake noses. I'm down with the Botox, but a new nose is going a little too far for me. Fake people (I'm sure you're really great on the inside). Most fake designer bags bug me... I'd be choked if someone had a replicated bag that they paid a fraction of the fortune I paid. What the eff, man? Fake Robert Pattinson accounts of Twitter... where you really at, R-Patz? Fake pockets.. fake double-eyelids. After watching Korean dramas and announcing to my mom that I would like to have the babies of a Korean, she went all "Ewww! They're made out plastic!"

:(.

Where the F did my old blogspot account go?

I can't find it. I tried Googling some pieces of what I could remember from it (the one blog entry I published, my username...or so I think is my username). My "About Me" tab was pretty kick-ass too. I had pictures of my old hamster, Benny, and the mini bio I did on myself was brief and a tad inventive.

I'd be really happy and appreciative if someone could find it for me. My front page was titled JalouSe-e. I named it after the French magazine called Jalouse. The main colours were forest green and black, if that matters at all... If this magically happened, I'd be impressed/surprised/genuinely touched by the kindness of strangers.

This probably won't happen. So I guess I'll just continue blogging..