I hear they're coming for me, because being at the top gets quite lonely

12 days till Christmas. (Cue music.)

A little high off the glass of red wine I just knocked back (for the perfect siesta, I assure you I'm not an alcoholic), I'm typing to you.. my global community. After several nights of sleeping in the AM's (when I say AM, I mean 6AM to be exact) my skin has become a display of my nasty habits, in happy matrimony with my mild rosacea, panda eyes and puffy eyebags.

Also, why is it everytime I need to buy something online, my mother and I get into a fight.. Coincidence? I think not.

I feel like I've hit an impasse. I'm getting questioned.. "Where have you been?" "Are we drifting?" "I feel like you're too busy for me lately.." I have answers to these questions, but not necessarily the most truthful or the right ones for that matter.

I can't decide whether it's the cabin fever that's taken its toll on me.. or if it's really me acting like a spinny bitch. I would hope it isn't the latter.. but if it is, I know why.

All I really have to say on this ordeal (an extremely trivial one at that), is Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. I will expand at another point in time.

All I want for Christmas is.. black Lita's, those lace-up wedges from UO, and a merry fucking Christmas. I'd like to extend the last one to everyone I know. xox!

Hmm.. it's almost 5:30AM. I'm definitely going to hate myself in the morning.

.. and in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.*

I'm a motherfucken monster

For the past week, I've been on what Chu has deemed "honeymoon phase", and this bitch had to ruin it all. Ok. I take the B-word back. I'm going to try avoid dropping any F-bombs either..

I'm just annoyed because I really don't care to be patronized, or lied to for that matter. PLEASE. Trying to explain yourself is kind of a clear indicator of a guilty conscience. Frankly, I'm insulted that you'd even bother trying.. ugh.. Please go away.

You act like you're just some innoccent bystander.. SMH girl.. just be real.. If not, just gtfo..

Fuck a fake bitch, she ain't even real.
So why believe she's your friend?

possibly one of the most unselfish things I've ever done

I let you go

ttyn..

Additions to the family

Leather loaves of love..

Have been resisting the urge to shop because Christmas is about buying gifts for others, and I plan to honour that notion. So you could imagine my delight when my mum told me I could have these two babes!!! Black leather with gold accents.. always classic. The one on the left is a new Escada purse, and the one on the right is vintage Christian Dior. I'm defs in love.

How cute is Escada's elephant zipper? I'm glad the leather isn't the buttery soft kind, because knowing me, it would get ruined forsure. I don't handle any of my possessions with care. Hence why I avoid borrowing people's things, and I'm always buying new shoes because I scuff my shoes like there's no tomorrow! This is not a desirable trait, I might add.. My mother certainly doesn't think so.

Other than having to stay for being sick, "studying", and watching this week's Glee twice with my dad, my boyfriend dropped off some vitamin B to ward off the cold symptons.. What a little suck huh? Kidding. He really is a sweetie.

In other news I cannot wait till exams are over. Nicolle and I have already discussed this. Post exam season is going to be cray cray.. Gongshows are awaiting my presence.. Glasses of wine are waiting to be filled.. The pavement has yet to feel the onslaught of my heels and perhaps my face (let's be serious, it's definitely going to be my knees or bum.. it always is).. All the restaurants of Vancouver/Richmond/Burnaby, be prepared to be amazed by mine and my girl Winda's appetite.. I AM COMING FOR YOU. Don't you worry..

goodnight & good luck to you

Absolutely Restless

yet beyond content.*
FIRST OFF.. despite royally pissing off my mother earlier, I love you mum!!! Don't stay mad at me for too long. I am your baby after all.. But anyhow, she was adorable as per usual today and went along and called me while I was studying, asking me if I'd like to go to a Miss Vancouver convention with her at the Pan Pacific. Initial thoughts--Mum, I know you'd love it if your daughter was Miss Vancouver but it's not happening. Secondary thoughts--dinner and a show... my fav. Tertiary thoughts--FUCK. I need to study like a motherfuck and Wednesday is no good. So yeah, sad sad.. told my mummy "No can do" and she went ahead and asked another friend. But! She did say "I wanted to ask you before anyone else." Muahahaha.. *kisses*


SECONDLY, maybe I'm feeling particularly loving lately and I have a sudden huge appreciation for my friends (not saying I didn't before). *The Fam*--you guys will remain my security blanket for as long as I live.. our KIDS will be growing together, this I swear to you! *shakes fist* Y'all can't run away from me.. As for W, legit.. what would I do without you??? E, my other half. And everyone else who has been such a breath of fresh air during my odd episodes and tendencies to revert into my bedroom like a hermit. *love love love, extreme blasts of love*

Today I ran into Piper, who I haven't seen in about a million years.. she was such a sweetheart.. There's something about bumping into someone and having a real conversation that makes them so endearing. And realizing how much you miss them.. ughh!!!!!!!! Time, where have you gone?

Futhermore, I need to make note of today's discovery.. I signed onto Facebook after I got home from studying and had new inbox messages from Nicolle. In it, she's attached a link to http://www.orphanage-outreach.org/. We've been dabbling at the subject of going overseas to volunteer, and I'm hoping this is going to be it. ENDPOINT, I felt ridiculously grateful that I have friends who are so giving.. I'm lucky to be surrounded by positive influences on me and the global community.

LASTLY, not gonna lie.. My boyfriend is amazing.

XXOO.

Free fall

So, I'm under the impression that relationships are supposed to be very give-and-take. Each partner should be treated as equals, or as subject to change with a given context.

I'm not used to give-and-take. I'm not a fan of give-and-take. Although I'd like to be. I'm getting the feeling that this relationship has too many "I'd like to be" and in return, I'm getting a lot of "But in reality".

And although we spend our lives trying to become the person we want to be, I think it hurts even more to pretend to be that person than not be that person at all. Am I crazy to think otherwise?

Sigh.

Nostalgia